Teenagers Control Their Destiny By Choice–Not By Chance

You are not going to like what I have to say, but I believe each and every word is true.

Teenagers, are by far the worst at being able to make decisions which might directly affect them a year or two from now. They hang out in the “now.” Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just, well, uncomfortable to say the least.

There I said it, their indecisiveness is incredibly annoying and uncomfortable.

We know that teenagers’ brains are not yet fully developed and cannot reasonably predict the outcome or the consequences of their actions. So why then do we get so bent out of shape when one of our kidlets’ does something so unbelievably brainless? The answer is simple–that’s all they know. For them, their actions were not stupid, they were a conscious choice.

Sure, we see the messes they get themselves into and we ask ourselves, “What in the world were they thinking”? But here is the thing–they know exactly what they are doing.

Me, myself and I

These young adults might not be thinking through to the immediate consequences, but they have a pretty good idea where they’re headed; whether it be college, working, moving out of the family home, or dare I say, “substance abuse” these young adults have only one thing in mind–themselves!

Once our children become young adults and have developed the fine art of independence, which is equally subjective at best, there is no stopping them. I am a firm believer that these young adults have good intentions. They really want to do great things and are very much concerned and eager to do well; acceptance is a very real emotion for teenagers.

While their choices might be a tad bit unsettling at times, there is a certain amount of tolerance we have because we know that indirectly, our precious babies are struggling and are worried about their future.

Calculating and understanding

Whatever mistakes these youngsters make will be their own, but if that means making a mistake by choosing to take a year off from school, well, then, that would be their mistake. Even Malia Obama can’t argue with that.

And who is to say that their choices are mistakes anyway? Just because we don’t agree, or use our life experiences as evidence to the contrary, it really is out of our hands. We want to think otherwise, and I believe children do listen to us parents a little bit, but our idea of success might not be their idea of accomplishment.

These kids wheels are turning. We are not always involved in the decision-making process simply because we are the parents. Our kids’ social media “posse” in the form of Instagram followers will provide all the guidance they need. There isn’t anything we can to do about that. Nothing….nada…ziltch!

A masterpiece 

I think of their lives as a blank page. There might be some scribbling on it, but nothing written of any value yet. It is up to them to fill in the blanks or decorate the page. At this point in their life, they are in total control and will decide every single thing they do–and they know exactly what they are doing.

The beauty of these young attitudes is that they bring a fresh perspective to modern-day society; a fantastic way to enter young adulthood.

Unfortunately, there are no accidents with their view points. Their ideas and motivations are deliberate and purposeful. Whether we agree or not, it is their life. They control the outcome.

These wonderful young men and women are responsible for the path they take and the choices they make along the way. Either positive or negative, and driven by their emotions, they alone make the decisions and control their destiny.





  • I’ve definitely had challenges with my kids, but something that has worked well for me is to take the time when they make a mistake and use it as a learning opportunity.

    I went to a site called http://www.preparemykid.com and they have a video that talks about how to teach kids life skills…

    In essence, I find out what mistake they’ve made; I often share a story about how I struggled with it; I relate why it’s important to something my kids find important; and then I let my kids talk about how they would do something different and we have a discussion.

    I’ve learned more about my two boys in the last 8 months than I thought possible!

    • It sounds like you have it under control. Teenagers are smart and they know what they want. Taking the time to set goals is a smart move on your part. Thanks for the comments. I appreciate your input.

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